Apparently, Sir Cameron Needs to Die by Greer Stothers
I loved this book! I've had some bad experiences with romance books in the past so I don't tend to seek them out, but I've been following the author of this book on Tumblr for years and I remembered liking the first chapter when it was posted there so I thought I would give it a shot. And I don't regret it! Maybe I should read more gay fantasy romance! Cameron and Merulo were a very sweet relationship to see develop. I loved them working out their dynamic, Merulo getting more fond of Cameron as he keeps pestering him, and Cameron deciding right away that he needs this old man carnally and will do anything to get there.
I found the story pretty interesting as well; I'm a huge fan of post apocalyptic stories where the world before is almost completely unknown, it's really fun to be able to point at a weird description of an artifact and say "I know what that is!" I also find Merulo and Hydna's fascination with and desire to bring back the former world very interesting. It's obviously a complicated subject because on one hand the society of the current world is bigoted and deadly but the past was hardly perfect either. It may have been more accepting, but the world was dying, being polluted by the very machines Merulo and Hydna would have been. It reflects what's happening in the real world too; the richest among us talk about colonizing Mars while clearly not caring about the world that we currently live on or the people that live on it. I hope some of these themes are addressed in the future because I think this book's worldbuilding has a lot of potential for it.
But speaking of Merulo's obsession with his goal, it's also where my biggest criticism lies. Merulo is so intent on reaching his goal of killing God that he begins cutting off pieces of his own body for it. While I love this as an idea, the execution was a bit disappointing. There's so much buildup to his arm and leg amputation; Cameron is desperately trying to come up with ways to convince him not to and the amputation is horrible and painful and then... he gets magical prosthetics that work basically exactly like his flesh limbs. Not only is this an example of the "perfect prosthetic" trope that I've seen many real life amputees speak out about, but it's also very anticlimactic. It feels like this decision didn't actually matter, like it won't dramatically change the way Merulo interacts with the world. Even when the first prosthetics break, he almost immediately acquires and enchants new ones on the ship. Maybe how this affects Merulo's life with be addressed more in the sequel, but for now I'm pretty disappointed with it in this book.
I also really enjoyed Glenda and Domitia. Glenda and Cameron are similar in that they're both very self centered, but they're still different in smaller ways that I think set them apart and make them very fun opposing POV characters. Cameron, in joining someone who actively rejects society, has space to grow past his internalized prejudices. Glenda on the other hand, is only ever encouraged to be bigoted and cruel. She's an elf, she thinks she's better than humans, better than the half dragon Domitia, and certainly better than cowardly Sir Cameron. The only person that ever challenges these things is Domitia, who she refers to as the "mongrel witch" in reference to her elf and dragon heritage. Domitia is one of my favorite characters in the book. I love characters that are kind despite everything; Domitia has been faced with mistrust and discrimination from the elves since her birth, yet she still chooses to help those that have seeked her out. Even when she meets Merulo and Cameron her first instinct is to help them, even though she doesn't approve of their goals. I'm sad she's dead and probably won't be back for the next book, I really enjoyed her POV chapter.
Last thing that I have to say is that I love Lunatic Freak. Lunatic Freak is the best character and I want 5,000 more Lunatic Freak scenes.