Close the Book


log no. 15, 2/8/23

THE GALLERY LINK IN LOG 14 NO LONGER WORKS SORRY. I got frustrated with it so I made the whole thing Valrik themed. I'm not linking it here because its not really done yet and I want to link it to the Dead Whispers page instead. Umm let's see other news... I'm planning on revamping all the story pages and giving them all their own unique look. I've started with Dead Whispers because its been on the mind a lot lately but its not done yet.

School things now! I've been reading The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver for class and I'm really liking it so far! All the characters feel very real to me, like I could meet them in real life just on the street. I've been working on a tryptic project for my drawing class, which does feature Valrik so I will be putting it in his gallery when its done. For my sculpture class I recently made a mold of my hand! Making the mold itself was a very strange experience due to the gelatinous nature of the thing. The actual product is even stranger. You know how in horror stories when someone meets their dopleganger they immediatly want to kill it? Yeah I'm feeling that for this sculpture of my hand. It is unsettling to say the least. I don't have much else to say about my other classes.


log no. 14, 1/26/23

The gallery is up! I tried to make one yesterday but I hated it. Like a lot. So I started over today! And I don't think it's perfect, but its close enough. I think I'm only going to put more major pieces on there, just to save space. I don't have much to report other than that. I finished a painting today. I am currently cooking a pizza. I had kind of a bad day yesterday. Maybe I should only update this when I actually have things to say. Okay bye.

log no. 14, 1/24/23

First log of 2023!!! I'm in my second semester of junior year and I'm already a little stressed! Not that it's not my own fault, but I think I'm allowed to complain on my own site. But I do not want to think about school right now so I will not. About the site! I've added a sitemap!!!! I'm sure at least one person who's visited was annoyed by the kind of hellish navigation so I figured a sitemap could only do good, and it didn't take long. I also added a links box to Home. I'm also debating on putting an actual gallery here? For my art I mean. For one of my classes we're doing artist trading cards and I plan on putting this website as my contact of sorts, so if I went through with that and you're from the future and found me through those cards, hellow!!! That's so cool!!! But anyway, not having a gallery makes linking to here for art make no sense. So I'm probably going to be adding a gallery. I also want to make some secret pages! I'm not sure what they're going to look like yet but I really like secrets and it seems fun. Anyway I am procrastinating a drawing while writing this so I should get back to that. See you tomorrow!!! I have a snow day so I might be doing some updates since I have the free time!

log no. 13, 12/25/22

Happy holidays and merry Christmas! My family has a tradition that every Christmas we head over to my grandparents house for breakfast and it's always what I look forward to most. My grandmother makes really really good french toast. Also it's hard to go wrong with french toast, I'll eat an entire loaf of that. The whole family wasn't there this time, it was just me, my parents, my brothers, my cousin, and my grandparents. Normally my aunts and my sister are there too but they had other things going on so everyone's meeting up on New Years instead. It'll be nice to see my sister again.

I'm really happy with all my presents this year! I got four plushes: a red kneed taratula, giratina, slugma, and a dreepy keychain. I'm not a huge dreepy guy, I never even caught one in my Sword playthrough but this keychain is maybe the cutest thing. He has a little hat and bow. I also got Pokemon Scarlet and Ultra Moon! As well as a Rise of Darkrai dvd, aka the best movie in existance. I've been playing Scarlet all day and honestly it's a lot more fun than I thought it would be! A lot of the designs are still really bland and boring to me and I don't think I'll be using a lot of Paldean pokemon, but it's still fun. I love my Floragato, his name is Shadowsight. Speaking of Shadowsight! I also got two Warrior Cats box sets! The Prophecies Begin and The Broken Code! I know have three including those two and Power of Three, which I got last Christmas.

Off topic from holidays, but my computer "set up" is just a laptop on the dining room table, which involves sitting on a bench which my mother also tends to sit on! The only problem is that this bench is wobbly as hell so every single movement either of us makes the other can feel and it's driving me up the wall I hate it so much but I can't move because this is where my computer is and she can't move because its the only empty spot and I don't even think it bothers her at all, this is just a me problem so I just have to Deal. Also it's really really cold.

Another off topic thing but I think there's something horribly wrong with my sleep schedule. When I go to sleep at a reasonable time I wake up in the middle of the night and cannot fall back asleep so I end up being tired all day. When I go to sleep late, I wake up at a reasonable time but I'm still tired all day. What is wrong with me? I just realized that the way I phrased this makes it sound like a riddle. Help.

log no. 12, 12/17/22

Hiiiiiii I'm in a much better mood compared to the last two logs. I'm still playing Pokemon Platinum and I caught Giratina! I'm on my way to the elite four now but honestly I'm not sure if my team is ready yet. My espeon especially is pretty under leveled.

Finals season approaches and it is making me very nervous. I haven't done great in the homework departement this semester so I'm a little scared that I'm going to fail something. I'm working on a Surlmog sculpture for one of my classes and I'm really excited about it he looks downright perfect, I just need to sand and paint him now.

Other stuff happening in my life includes: I've been seeing my sister a lot more lately! Her birthday was last month and I got to see her on Thanksgiving AND she's here now! She's helping our mom make cookies. It's nice to have her around again. She lived out of state for a while so it's been a bit. Also! I really like how my art's been looking lately. Something about the way I've been drawing fur makes it look very silky and nice. My tablet started being a little weird on Thursday and I'm a little scared it's going to get worse but right now the problem is managable. I'm not really sure how to describe what's happening though.

log no. 11, 11/25/22

Sorry about that last post I just really needed to talk about everything. I'm glad I have a place I feel like I can do that. I wanted my next update to be happy or something but unfortunately it is Thanksgiving. Well now it's the day after Thanksgiving but my family celebrated with my mother's side of the family yesterday so now my father's family is visiting. Luckily we're doing this at our own house this time so I plan on playing Pokemon in my room until everyone leaves. I really hate Thanksgiving, yesterday I didn't eat anything until 3 pm and even then it was just some bread because eating in front of people is weird and it was at my grandparents' house so I couldn't just hang out on my room like I can today. I did get to see my sister and her boyfriend though that was nice.

Anyway on a lighter-ish note, I've been playing Pokemon Platinum and it's been really fun! I picked Chimchar as my starter and I named him Hephaestus. The rest of my team currently consists of a Swablu named Simon, a Gastrodon named GORB (in all caps), a Snover named Warlock, a Luxray named Shott, and an Eevee named Elias. I plan on evolving Elias into an Espeon. After everyone evolves I plan on keeping this team for the rest of the game, I'm pretty happy with it.

log no. 10, 11/22/22

I'm gonna be honest here I'm a little bit tired of sacrificing my own comfort and happiness for the sake of others, its frankly exausting and it just makes me wish I could be rude and mean and capable of standing up for myself without feeling embarassed and terrified of retaliation. On one hand I hate people who are inconsiderate of others feelings but on the other I envy them so much for being able to do that. I wish I felt more things than just exaustion and annoyance I wish I wasn't a violently angry and bitter person inside I wish I wasn't a coward I wish I could express my own rage without feeling juvinile and stupid. I always was kind of a goody two shoes kind of kid. Nowadays if I see someone else breaking a rule or something I mind my own business but even the idea of doing something wrong make me stressed. I'm scared of teachers going near me because they might want to talk to me about missing work, every time my parents walk by my closed door I tense up thinking they're going to open the door and talk to me about school. I'm terrified of the adults in my life and I'm not even sure why. I don't have any real reason to be so scared of them and everyone else but I can't stand up for myself to people my own age because what if they tell what if my teachers don't like me what if they make everyone else stop liking me. Sorry about all this it doesn't really matter at all. This isn't going to stop any time soon and there's nothing I can do about it right now. I'm kind of just stewing in my own hatred and rage right now.

log no. 09, 11/19/22

A few things have happened since last time: for one, I added a little guy to this page! Its not a character at all, just a doodle I thought would look nice here. On Thursday I got locked out of my house because I didn't have a spare key so I had to wait outside in the cold for 30 minutes for my dad to get home it was horrible. I have a spare key now though so that's nice. Today's my brother's birthday! Happy birthday to him! He's visiting from college for it and he's getting a cookie cake which is nice I love cookie cakes. In other news! I've been attempting to brainstorm more things for Jackal so I can actually work on it but I'm not having much luck. I have a vague idea of what's happening but not nearly as much as some of my other stories. Some of them like Brightest of Hearts and Science, Spiders, and Murder are completely outlined. For both of them I had a brief moment of clarity that got me to write everything out in one sitting and I really need that to happen with Jackal, I want to work on it so bad. My library still doesn't have the newest Warrior Cats book and it's driving me up the wall I want to read Sky so bad.

log no. 08, 11/8/22

I think the most important part to realize about having a personal site is that really I can put whatever I want on here. I think I've been conditioned by the rest of the internet to try and appeal to an audience of some kind, even though I don't have very big followings anywhere. Even Tumblr, which I now view as a kind of digital diary, I still don't post things I think cross a certain line of being more annoying than usual. I do think I have a right to be annoying on Tumblr considering they chose to follow me and thus must tolerate my strange text posts. But the long personal monologues I tend to keep to myself. There are of course exeptions, like my rant about modern Pokémon, but for the most part I keep those to myself. All this to say that everyone reading this is about to be cursed by my many thoughts.

So like. I have a lot of issues watching shows for some reason. There are certainly shows I like and have gotten far in or even finished but I always have so much difficulty watching them. Movies and, weirdly enough, several hour long video game stream VODs that take multiple sittings to finish keep my attention far better than shows ever do. And an extention of that, cartoons tend to be much easier to watch than live action for whatever reason.

As a child I was never allowed to watch TV. For the most part, my only exposure to any sort of cinema was regualted to DVDs my family owned and things I checked out from our local public library. The few times I did watch TV it was supervized and primarily consisted of M*A*S*H, Shawn the Sheep, and Micky Mouse Clubhouse. I suppose I might just be very unused to watching shows in place of movies.

I think I might just need to aim for one or two episodes a week of something because I think I get kind of overwhelmed watching more than just one a day. I think shows are kind of meant to have breathing room between episodes so I can sit in the new revelations for a bit. I dunno, I say I'm going to do this but in reality I am far more likely to keep watching really long video essays instead.

log no. 07, 10/29/22

It sure has been a bit! I just haven't been sure what to add lately and while I WAS trying write for the SOL page I kind of lost any kind of motivation for it. I'll get to that later, for now I've added alts to all the planet icons and the page dolls for Space. I've been trying to think about how to describe the maps but I have no idea whatsoever so I think I'm going to do some reaserch? I'm not entirely sure where to look for this sort of thing so I'm just going to wing it for now.

In other news, school sure does exist! I really love my art classes, they tend to be my favorite parts of the day. This week my teacher put on Nightmare Before Christmas and Beetlejuice for Halloween which was really fun. I'm debating on adding an art gallery here so I can show you all my school work since I'm so proud of all of them. I'm kind of failing my AP Language class? I'm really really bad at turning things in its kind of a problem. I have been reading A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson for class though and I really like it so far! Bryson's writing is really entertaining I reccomend it. I'm also on the cusp of failing Algebra because my crazy teacher gives us quizes online even though the class is in person AND even though the quizes are open all week, everything on them we learn by the end of the week so the only real time to take them is friday through sunday which is just ridiculous, what kind of teacher genuinly expects a bunch of 17 year olds to do a QUIZ on SATURDAY. Worst teacher I have.

I'm also taking Applications of Biochemistry, which is really fun and nice because all the work is in class labs so there's no homework. The ...bad? Annoying? Part is that my lab partner keeps copying my work, even when it's stuff that he can very easily do himself and I'm not really sure how to feel about it? I feel kind of used but ultimately him copying isn't going to hurt either of our grades since we're going to get the same results anyway. It's just kind of frustrating when I put in the effort to do something and he just gets to reap the benefits too.

log no. 06, 9/17/22

Hellow! Sorry I haven't updated anything lately, unfortunately school has taken a lot of time out of my time for hobbies like this and I've been putting most of my attention into making art. Good news though! I have a drawing class at school right now, which is incredibly exciting and so far it has been very fun. I also have a sculpture class that's a little less fun but still entertaining. I recently Disco Elysium, which has been very fun so far. Normally, I wouldn't like a game with so much dialogue but I think its balanced out with how entertaining the style is and all the options there are to choose from. The last thing I really have to talk about is how I've been changing a lot about my stories lately that I think might take a bit to update. As for the stories that don't have concrete plots I think I will just put notes and ideas and such on their pages instead of just leaving them blank. In the future, I think most updates on here will be done on weekends since that's when I have the most free time.

log no. 05, 8/10/22

Neocities was down for a while so that was sad. I think I'm going to turn this page into more of a blog page. Its still going to include updates on the site but its also going to include what I did that day or something. Just anything I feel like saying. There will be some appearance changes but I think that will mostly be color.

log no. 04, 8/6/22

Finished Hollow Knight fan page.

Oragnized files, a lot of links have changed.

Log no. 03, 8/1/22

Added playlist to index page. I'm not sure it works though as I couldn't get it to play; could just be my browser though.

Moved todo list to this page and removed it from the home page.

Log no. 02, 7/21/22

Changed cursor image for the Mew's Room css style.

Slight wording change to Mew's Room.

Log no. 01, 7/19/22

There's a logbook now!

Several other pages have been edited because of the new Logbook; mostly just figuring out where to connect it to (I ended up putting it in the Library).

Changed cursor image for home css style (need to change it for the rest of the styles as well).